Identical twins, their identities confused even their parents. The brothers worked in the canned food department of an A & P warehouse, and kept their manager in a state of upset; mainly because he found them too disturbingly attractive. He'd date Ted to take him to dinner, then near closing time, he'd told him to meet him at the Astor. Ned, to whom he was speaking, looked at him in amazement and asked him why. The same occured the time he dated Ned, and rather then lose face, he took both to dinner and went home alone, cursing his luck. The brothers saw no reason why they should buy canned foods with so much of it stacked around them, so they alternately reduced the piles. One night a suspicious door guard ordered Ted to empty his pockets. Ted lay four cans of mince meat on the floor. As the guard stooped to pick it up, Ned stepped beside Ted. The guard looked up and frowned, "Which one of you stole this?" he demanded. Neither, let him try and prove it. Thereafter, when they were leaving, one or the other's pocket bulging, he looked the other way.

It so happened during a dinner of spare ribs and sauerkraut Gene and Edna were enjoying at Myron's that Ted burst in and tearfully informed them that Ned had been arrested for importuning a sailor and was in the Tombs.

Edna called Charlie again and explained Ned's predicament. Gene would bail Ned out of jail but Ned needed a good lawyer. Did Charlie know of one? Indeed she did Marty (Martha) Morgan. Marty's booming voice could out yell, out argue any man. In her tailored blue serge suit, white shirt and black knit four in hand she left no doubt in the court's mind that she knew the law. The following morning in the courtroom Edna, Gene and Myron sat beside the twins on the front row and heard Marty defy the sailor to identify Ned. Utterly bewildered, the sailor looked to the judge for help. His honor scratched his head and dismissed the case.

In this squalid, dirty courtyard

Where the chickens squawk and run, White, incredible, the pear tree Stands apart and takes the sun:

Fragrant mountain laurel vied with the dogwood in the fresh green woods along the banks of the Saugatuck near Westport.

Nell Alexander's cabin near the river needed renovating, and her backhouse a new door; so Nell, in Myron's studio, informed Myron and the twins. The old john took a terrific beating from Kate Symons, her truck driver friend from Maine on her vacation. While Kate sat enthroned a hornet nipped her exposed rear, and Kate kicked the door so violently it burst open and stayed open. This happened in October, too late for Nell to replace it, so she hung a checkered blue and white table cloth over the entrance.

The twins offered to do the repairing. They had the tools, also a compelling desire to reduce their neighbor's lumber pile. It blocked their view of an outdoor shower, used in hot weather by muscular young heavers in a coal yard. Patient souls, the brothers waited until their neighbor left for a week end then they phoned Gene. Gene promptly rented a light truck, and with Myron and the twins on the lumber in back, Edna and Champ beside him on the front seat, he drove through the cool spring night to Nell's.

Anyhow, its nothing new to me,

I can remember, and so can you

(Though we'd better watch out for you know who-)

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